Intimacy Through Email

I thought I’d share my experience with email as a medium for intimacy, and even sexting.

It seems so counterintuitive to use email to communicate with a partner when you can just shoot them a text. Most people, including myself, use email almost exclusively for work and to receive both solicited and unsolicited coupons. However, I’ve recently experimented with using email in a more personal, even sensual way, and I found it incredibly rewarding. I thought I’d share a few of my thoughts on the experience and some of the unique aspects of email that differentiate it from other forms of textual intimacy.

The Return of Love Letters

Media and pop culture have often romanticized love letters, the lost art of a bygone era. Though I agree that sending physical letters through the mail to correspond with a lover is rather antiquated, I believe we can still capture the essence of love letters through 21st century electronic mail.

When was the last time you wrote to your lover in paragraphs, or even complete sentences proper punctuation? With a letter, you can heap on the praise and worship in prose normally reserved for everything but romance. There’s a lot of fun that can be had with the letter formatting. For example, one of my favourite things to play with in a romantic email is the sign-off. Signing-off with ‘Always Yours’, ‘Adoringly Yours’, or even a simple ‘xx’, can be a nice change of pace and add a romantic flair to an already steamy letter.

Another element of letters that I love incorporating is the postscript. I love writing a long, sensual email, signing-off with a ‘Forever Yours’, and adding a ‘P.S.’ to throw in one last cheeky compliment or naughty thought. I often like using a P.S. to juxtapose a romantic letter with more pointed sexual comment or idea. I find it’s a fun way to fan the flames of a slow-burning sexual journey with a glimpse at the final destination.

Where Long-Form Excels

The biggest difference between instant messaging and email is the length of each message. I think the thing I enjoy most about incorporating long-form writing in an intimate, sexual context, is that it’s like I’m writing one of my erotic stories for a single person.

With multiple sentences and short paragraphs, you can set the scene and create an atmosphere more easily than through instant messaging. You can transport your partner to a world of your creation, and all they have to do is check their email.

Letters and long-form writing also lend themselves to more collaborative experiences, where one person can set the stage, the other can take the first step. Exchanging longer, thought-out scenes can lead to a more complete story where both partners react and respond equally.

Another benefit letters have over instant messaging is the ability to maintain multiple streams of thought at once. For example, if you and your partner have a deeper relationship than just sexting, you can break your single letter into a daily life update and a steamy dream you had about your partner, and throw in a P.S. telling them they looked stunning in their latest Instagram post. Letters can allow you to juggle many balls (in more ways than one).

The Slow Burn

To really get the most out of sharing intimacy through email, you have to embrace the slow burn. Take your time crafting your emails. Think about what it is you’re trying to convey, and don’t hold back with the verbosity! Time is your greatest ally in this respect, because the denser the email is with romance and sensuality, the greater the payoff for your partner waiting excitedly for it.

This form requires you to practice patience. You can really play with the letter aspect of each email, limiting yourselves to a single letter each a day, or even a week. Delayed gratification can seriously amplify the experience and bring a new dimension to your sexting life

If you’re an avid sexter or even just looking for something low-stakes and new to try with a partner, give email a try. You can even snag a free email address from Protonmail for that added privacy piece of mind.

Happy Writing 🙂

Setting the Table

There’s always a moment, just before I send the first message to someone I’m playing with for the first time, where my heart begins beating faster and my fingers tremble. All I want to do at that very moment is jump in with a volley of descriptions and actions, lobbing pet names and kinks in an endless torrent of sexual energy. But alas, I do not. I’d like to share some sexting etiquette I’ve found encourages a healthier and more enjoyable sexting experience.

Pet Names

We all have pet names we like to be called during intimate moments. It is important to realize that not everyone has the same preferences. I’ve found it very helpful and appreciated to ask your play partner what pet names they prefer. There are a few ways you can clarify pet names during a play session. The simplest way is to establish both yours and your partner’s preferred names prior to beginning. You can also find creative ways to incorporate it early into your first session. For example, if you’ve started a scene where you and your partner are entwined in each other’s arms, you can say “I whisper in your ear, ‘you can call me slut'”, establishing that you enjoy being called slut while you play. This might also encourage your partner to tell you what they prefer. This is all predicated on both players generally understanding what sort of kinks and play you are getting into.

You can also try different words with your partner by asking them if they like being called something. I’ve only covered a few ways of establishing pet name preferences, but don’t hesitate to find what works best for you. The key is to avoid imposing your preferences onto your play partner.

Ask Questions

Sexting requires just as much attention and care as physical sex. As such, it is vitally important that you periodically check in with your partner just like you would if you were physically engaged in sex with them. In essence, it’s important to ask questions throughout the duration of a play session.

Don’t let anyone tell you that checking in with your partner or asking questions ruins the mood. Questions are sexy as hell! Just like physical sex, it’s all about matching the flow. For example, if you and your partner are in the midst of a steamy scene where you’re in a position to spank your partner, you can squeeze in consent like so: “mmmmm your ass looks so good, so inviting. I rub my hand gently over your supple cheeks. You want me to give it a slap, [insert pet name here]?”. I think this is a steamy way to keep the flow of play going while continuing to establish consent during an evolving session.

Moving In and Out of Play

This is just a short tip that you might find helpful if you’re having trouble smoothly transitioning in and out of play. It’s often fun jumping out of a session briefly to let your partner know how much you’re enjoying yourself. I’ve found it easiest to separate these dips out of play with distinct punctuation or words. For example, I often use brackets like so: (omg that was so hot, I’m throbbing right now) I take you by the arm and etc. I tend to use brackets more often when our play involves many shorter, single word or sentence messages. When I’m engaged in play where my partner and I are writing longer messages to each other, I’ll hop out of play by starting my message with “sidenote:”. Whatever you choose, I’ve found it a fun and sexy way to stay connected with my partner outside the session in the midst of play.

Like most things in life, communication is key. Whether it’s physical sex or textual sex, it’s important to remember that intimacy is to be respected. Let your partner know what pet names you prefer and where you’d like a session to go. There are many ways to do this without breaking the steamy momentum of a session. And don’t forget, it’s OK to hop in-and-out of play to communicate with your partner. I hope these tips help make your sexting adventures more comfortable and enjoyable!

How to Take a Decent Dick Pic

I’m someone who loves sexting. Between exchanging lurid stories with a partner and sharing pictures, the experience can be very rewarding, especially during a pandemic. From my own experience, I wanted share some thoughts on how those of us who have a penis can take more ‘aesthetic’ pictures of our privates.

CONSENT

The worst dick pic is an unsolicited one. Don’t send pictures to people without their explicit consent beforehand. Be a decent person, please.

Lighting and Angles

Just because it’s a picture of your junk, doesn’t mean it has to be trash. Lighting and angles are super important when taking a picture of your member. Regarding angles, I find an upward angle can help emphasizes and exaggerate size, especially when erect. The easiest way to take this picture is using the front-facing camera on your phone, but I would instead recommend using the back-facing one. The back-facing camera is oftentimes the better camera with a higher resolution. Because it will be more difficult to see what your picture will look like, you’ll likely have to do multiple takes. But trust me, it’s worth it. Timers and mirrors are also helpful when using the back camera.

As for lighting, don’t be afraid of the dark. Some of my favorite pictures come from the clever use of flash in pitch black. When using flash, be weary of the light over exposing the entire picture. I’ve found that experimenting with distance and focus helps to avoid this. A lighting tip for that nooner pic involves natural light. Natural light at an angle can do a lot of the heavy lifting when trying to emphasize a specific aspect of your parts. Get creative with shadows as well. The important thing is to avoid blurry pictures, so take your time.

Context

Context is key. When you’re sexting, context can mean a few different things. The first thing context means is within a sexting session. A sexy back and forth between you and a partner can get things steamy. Sending a nice picture to show your partner how much you’re enjoying what’s happening can add a little extra spice. I try to avoid sending pictures outside a sexting session unless under specific circumstances. A before and after of a steamy session can add some dimension to a picture that would otherwise just be a random picture of your penis.

Context also involves what’s in the picture beyond your penis and testicles. I’ve often found that the thing that those I’m sexting with keyed-in on most was other parts of my body where I intended the focus to be on ‘the goods’. Taking the focus off your genitals and on other parts of your body like your chest or legs can elevate your pictures significantly. Hedge your bets and use the same lighting and angle tips for other parts of your body, you might stumble on something that really hits the spot for your partner.

Frequency

I’ve definitely been in a position where I’ve taken a bunch of solid pictures and I start to slip with my own techniques, especially in context. Quality over quantity is the foundation of effective sexting. Inundation exponentially reduces the effect the picture might have for your partner. I found that during times where I was feeling very revved up and I wasn’t sexting my partner I would take a few pictures and just hold onto them. This allowed me to get a handle on my instant urge to take the pic without the risk of inundating my partner and ruining the experience for them. And if those pictures meet your high criteria, you’ve got some chambered and ready for a more appropriate moment. Communication with your partner, like everything in life, will help you determine the frequency that works for you relationship.

Well, I can’t believe I actually wrote this, but here we are. I hope this helps someone out there who happens to stumble upon this. Happy sexting y’all and stay safe out there 🙂